Over 11 years ago I asked a beautiful flute player from Arkansas Tech out on a date. We were both in the music department. She was in band. I was in choir. From the beginning she made life better. But I would not realize how much better until years later.
God has blessed me tremendously and I’m just letting the 5 people who read my posts know it. I’ve been married to an incredibly wonderful woman for 10 years. And we celebrate that today.
She is a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent woman that just makes every part of life better.
Proverbs 31:12, when speaking of the excellent wife says,
“She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” – Proverbs 31:12 ESV
When I was considering writing about my wife and just how great she is this is what stuck out to me. I believe her to be a beautiful, kind, and courageous human being. But when I start to think about her life, she does sooooo much good for our family. In examining all of the good that she does for our family I see very clearly that she is “an excellent wife”. Whether it be in Solomon’s day or ours that is incredibly rare.
I see the goodness that she does for our family in my own life. I am, personally, a disorganized, cluttered, and an oftentimes rude person (not on purpose). I don’t intend to be all of these things, but I have to say that she tempers me in an incredible way. She organizes me and helps me to get organized myself. I’m not sure that I could be productive without her. I don’t intend to be rude, I just don’t oftentimes have the ability to “read the room” or the emotions of an individual all that well.
When we were dating and even occasionally today my wife will look at me, with incredible patience, and explain to me what is going on around me from an emotional standpoint. Quite frankly, I oftentimes don’t understand it. I can be seen as rude or even mean at times because my speech and interactions with others don’t come off as I desire them to, and Amanda has greatly helped me with this time and time again.
She gives great advice because she is very intelligent and understanding. We journey through things theologically and our lives together because she has the capacity to work through these things well.
And, oh my goodness, she figures out how to do whatever is needed. I don’t make a lot of money and take classes at SBTS. We have also shrunk to a one income family. So, she figured out how to cook good food on the cheap. She figures out how we can save money in a multitude of ways and actually makes ends meet. This is a task that is done often in the Minor home and most of the credit goes to her. She is able to do what seemed impossible at times, especially in months where I’m in seminary and making an extra car payment a month for school. She just gets it done.
When our family decided to do family worship on a day to day basis, she decided to begin playing piano again. She hadn’t really played in years. She plays flute and other woodwind instruments, but she thought that she could really bring a great benefit to our time of singing. She has greatly enhanced our time in the mornings with her playing. She also puts together visual illustrations for the kids Bible Studies, helping them to understand the concepts being taught.
I think our family worship time illustrates well what Amanda does for this family. She just makes everything better. She does, for us, a tremendous amount of good.
Ten years of marriage has taught me something about our relationship. She does so much good for me and our children that I do not believe I could ever do enough to repay her for it.
When I start discussing our children, I begin to understand that her goodness shines even brighter there. We have a daughter that looks like her but acts a lot like an extroverted version of myself. If you don’t know me personally, then you may not understand that this could be a scary thing and oftentimes is. But she is patient and understanding with our daughter. She can really push some buttons, but Amanda is patient and kind with her and guides her. She teaches her how to navigate her emotions and life well.
This is a picture of my wife with our daughter. She is now four years old. And my daughter is so very blessed to have her as a mother.
And, do you know what else my wife does?
She homeschools our two children. It is oftentimes a herculean task getting my daughter to concentrate, but our son takes a special bit of effort on that front as well. Our two kids are intelligent, but they can be quite the handful.
As many of you know, our son is autistic. He is very, very, very visual in his learning. This means that Amanda does an incredible amount of work to teach concepts to him. She is doing a fantastic job, he is learning a lot. It does, however, take a lot of time and forethought.
...her lamp does not go out at night”-Proverbs 31:18b ESV
I see her working constantly to make school for both children work. The kids go down for a nap, she gets the binders out. When the kids go to bed she begins doing laundry and planning for school. She is doing an unreal amount of good for those children and it takes a lot of work.
Being an autism parent affords you the opportunity to have more work to do than most other parents.
On more than one occasion I have heard therapists say that Amanda is the only person applying the therapy lessons to her child at home. While other parents drop their child off and rely on the therapists to do a lot of this work Amanda is taking notes and figuring out how to apply these exercises at home.
Being an autism parent has also afforded me the opportunity to see just how courageous my wife is.
Anyone who has been through that process knows that it is gut-wrenching. She didn’t give up. She was going to do the best that she could for her little boy. She has worked tirelessly to give him everything that he needs.
I have found an excellent wife, this I know. Her life is an illustration of self-sacrificing love that works for the betterment of her family. She does whatever it takes to do good for her family. And, we’ve noticed and appreciate her greatly.
R. Dwain Minor
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